We here at Cool As have been Peep Show fans since the very beginning. If we’re honest there’s probably more Mark Corrigan in us than we’d like to admit. With the new series starting on Wednesday evening we look at the 20 times when Peep Show got it pretty bloody spot on.
1. When Dobby carries personal cheese.
Because deep down we all want personal cheese with us at all times.
2. (Whilst in the supermarket) “Life is all pain. Pain, rejection and gloom. Why do we even pretend that there’s anything other than a yawning blankness at the heart of… Hey, 33% extra free! I’m doing excellent shopping. My depressed state of mind is making me even more frugal than normal.”
Because there’s nothing like a supermarket bargain to cheer us up on a bad day.
3. “Love life may be a rather grandiose term for staring at women on the bus.”
Because we really mustn’t get carried away by the beautiful stranger that doesn’t know we exist.
4. “Crunchy Nut Cornflakes are just Frosties for wankers!”
“Yeh well Frosties are just Cornflakes for people who can’t face reality!“
Because we like Frosties. They take the harsh reality off of our mornings.
5. “There’s only so much happiness in the world and they’re hoarding it all!“
“That isn’t how happiness works (it totally is)“
Because you really can’t stand all the smug bastards in your Facebook feed.
6. “I feel like my soul is being chipped away bit by bit.”
“Welcome to the world of work, Jeremy!“
Because sometimes you’d rather die than turn up to that hell hole.
7. (Whilst jogging) “Hey! Wow, I’m actually good at this. Maybe I’m a natural – yeah, I’m a jogger! Of course, there had to be a sport for me, I just never realised. Legs like two great steam locomotives, pumping away, I’m unstoppable – JESUS, is that a stitch? Fuck, I’m gonna be sick, I need to walk. Oh, I think I’m gonna puke, I’m literally going to die, ugh, what an idiotic boob I was back ten or eleven seconds ago.“
Because one day hopefully you’ll find an exercise you like and you’re good at. Maybe. Maybe not.
8. “The truth is I like you… I like you and if you can’t handle it, you can just… you know, fuck off.“
Because words never quite come out right when you’re trying to charm someone.
9. “I suppose doing things you hate is just the price you pay to avoid loneliness.”
Because you’ll pretend to be interested in any old bollocks if it means they’ll like you.
10. “People like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis. You can’t trust people.“
Because people are mainly idiots.
11. “If text kisses were real kisses the world would be an orgy.“
Because you really shouldn’t analyse text messages as much as you do.
12. “Bye. Love you“
“I love you, too. (It’s okay, everyone says it. I say I love Häagen-Dazs and my broadband provider, and I like Sophie more than them. In most respects.)“
Because sometimes you just say things.
13. “I barely have anything to say to my best friend what am I going to talk to a fully grown man about all evening?“
Because we shouldn’t be left on our own to talk to actual grown ups. We’re not mature enough to talk to real actual grown ups.
14. “Why does everything have to be fun to be worthwhile? Crick and Watson have discovered the Double Helix. Did they do it on a skateboard? No, Well, fuck off then, I’m not interested.“
Because sometimes we’re quite happy being boring, thanks.
15. “But you promised!“
“Hitler promised not to invade Czechoslovakia, Jeremy. Welcome to the real world.“
Because the real world SUCKS.
16. “I’m in a relationship with someone I really like. Something is obviously going to have to go wrong, I wonder what it’s going to be. It’s almost definitely going to be something I do, I need to watch myself like a hawk.“
Because slipping up and revealing your true self is far too easy.
17. “God it’s so easy being a freak. No wonder they’re ten a penny.”
Because you grow up and realise you’re about the only normal person out there.
18. “You ate your nest egg? You’re meant to sit on your nest egg until it hatches, not eat it like some greedy, mad chicken.“
Because you look at your bank statements and realise your salary and nest egg has disappeared on booze, food and magazines.
19. “It’s a bit like a moral decision. But not really because nobody’s going to find out.”
Because you could do the thing. You shouldn’t do the thing. But will anyone find out if you do the thing? May as well do the thing then.
20. “I’m dangerously close to getting what I want. Feels a bit weird.”
Because you’re so used to the disappointment of life that the moment anything is close to going right it doesn’t quite make sense.
The final series of Peep Show starts on Wednesday 11 November, 10pm, Channel 4.